When a kiss is not a kiss

Vaհe H Apelian 

Today, on Yahoo News, I read the following headline: “How often should you kiss your partner? Experts weigh on Reddit debate.” I glanced over the report. It was pretty long to read. There were more than 500 comments.  Apparently, the article had stirred quite a bit of interest.

I was reminded of that pretty famous kiss in American politics, Al Gore kissing his wife Tipper on the Democratic convention stage accepting the party's nomination, especially when Bill Clinton’s campaign was mired with his extra marital affairs and his presidency as well became mired by affairs but Hillary stood by him and famously said the following on Sixty Minutes during Bill Clinton's presidential election campaign: “You know, I’m not sitting here, some little woman standing by my man like Tammy Wynette, I’m sitting here because I love him, and I respect him, and I honor what he’s been through and what we’ve been through together. And you know, if that’s not enough for people, then heck—don’t vote for him.”

The famous Armenian writer Hamasdegh in his epic work "The Village and the Rain" describes a kiss between a boy and a girl whom their parents  had promised betrothal but were never allowed to be together. One day he caught her carrying food to her father and brother toiling in the fields and he kissed her. But they were seen. The news spread quickly in the village. The villagers vouched that he held her so tightly that even the wind could not pass between them.  It became a scandal and had serious ramifications. Her father annulled the promise for betrothal. He ended up eloping her. Her father disavowed her as their daughter and forbad his wife visiting her. But when she gave birth to his grandson, things changed. The story ends with the grandfather sweet talking to his grandson..

Al Gore was with his wife throughout the campaign. In his excitement of having nominated in the  Democratic presidential ticket, he kissed his wife Tipper holding her also very tightly but on the stage in the limelight and in view of millions. That kiss also had its ramifications.

 The following day the NY Times had a commentary whose headlines I copied for this blog, and wrote the following: “IN Vice President Al Gore's campaign to change his robotic image, nothing may have helped more than the big smooch. Mr. Gore stepped on stage at the Democratic Convention on Thursday and greeted his wife, Tipper, with a quick embrace and a kiss on the lips. But instead of letting go, as nice politicians are supposed to, he wrapped her tighter in his arms, closed his eyes and gave her a full-mouthed kiss that lasted a exceptionally long time. (Actually, three seconds; we have tapes; we've counted.) When he remembered where he was -- on national television about to accept his party's nomination for president -- he backed away and went on with his business.

Of course, he could not really have forgotten the cameras for a second, and soon commentators were speculating about how calculated the kiss was. Mrs. Gore had spent days on the talk show circuit trying to humanize her husband's image, after all. And here was the living proof of his humanity, and a photograph the papers couldn't resist.

The next day MSNBC had two people on the case. Chip Reid reported that he had interviewed the Gores' daughter, Karenna Gore Schiff, who told him that kind of kissing goes on around the house all the time. He did not report whether the Gore children had spent much of their youth saying, ''Yuck! Mom! Dad!''

But, lo and behold, that kiss on national television right before Al Gore was about to accept his party's nomination for president, did not help Al Gore secure the presidency nor his marriage. The Gores divorced after 40 years of marriage. But the philandering Bill Clinton was re-elected as president and his marriage endures.

So, it appears that kissing is not a salvation. There is more to it to save your marriage, or your partnership with your significant other. 

My recommendation is to read the message the prophet conveyed Kahlil Gibran and he, in turn collected the prophet’s wisdom in his famous book, titled “The Prophet” and this is what Kahlil Gibran wrote the prophet told him,..................

On Marriage

BY KAHLIL GIBRAN

Then Almitra spoke again and said, And

what of Marriage, master?

     And he answered saying:

     You were born together, and together you

shall be forevermore.

     You shall be together when the white

wings of death scatter your days.

     Ay, you shall be together even in the

silent memory of God.

     But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

     And let the winds of the heavens dance

between you.

 

     Love one another, but make not a bond

of love:

     Let it rather be a moving sea between

the shores of your souls.

     Fill each other’s cup but drink not from

one cup.

     Give one another of your bread but eat

not from the same loaf.

     Sing and dance together and be joyous,

but let each one of you be alone,

     Even as the strings of a lute are alone

though they quiver with the same music.

 

     Give your hearts, but not into each

other’s keeping.

     For only the hand of Life can contain

your hearts.

     And stand together yet not too near

together:

     For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

     And the oak tree and the cypress grow

not in each other’s shadow.