At this Memorial Day Sunday: The need for comfort.

\Rev. Avedis Boynerian graciously forwards me his Sunday sermon ahead of time. This Sunday May 24, 2026, Rev. Avedis Boynerian’s sermon pertained to Memorial Day, which is a solemn federal holiday dedicated to honoring and mourning the U.S. military personnel who died while serving in the armed forces, and also to remember and honor our dear family members, relatives, friends who have departed from us for good. Vaհe H Apelian

“The need for comfort

On this Memorial Day weekend, we gather to remember those who gave their lives in service to this nation, who left behind their families, dreams, and futures so that we might live in freedom and peace.

Memorial Day reminds us that freedom is not free.

Memorial Day comes with a price - with an expensive price.

Jesus said: “(Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).

The greatest way to honor those who gave their lives is to live lives worthy of their sacrifice—to pursue security, peace, justice and love of neighbor.

So today we remember the fallen and honor their memory and pray for grieving families, for veterans, and for peace in our world.

The loss of a loved one is probably the most difficult time in life.

I lost my mother when she was in her early sixties.

I lost my brother when he was 42 years old. 

I tell you. These were not easy times for my father, my siblings and me.

On Memorial Day Sunday we grieve for 

Grief is never comfortable for any of us. Sometimes it can seem unbearable. 

Please, listen: The Bible does not say, “Not to grieve.” 

It says, “If a Christian dies, we do not grieve as those who have no hope” (1 Thess. 4:13). 

That means we have hope today! 

Knowing that our loved ones are in heaven and we can see them again. 

They were men and women, who loved God, loved their country and loved their neighbor.  

They trusted Jesus, while they were alive, and now Jesus has embraced them in heaven. 

Jesus, in His very first sermon - Sermon on the Mount, made promises to all who have faith and believe in Him. 

He said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4).

What an assurance Jesus makes to us in our mourning: He comforts us. 

How do we do justice to these individuals, who meant so much to us?

It seems like they left us too soon. 

Yet, they impacted us. 

They built their lives around the church. 

(Yes, it’s never a good time to lose a loved one. But it’s never a bad time to go to heaven either.

Today we have mixed feelings. 

We sorrow at the thought of not having them with us and the joy that their suffering is over. 

I am confident that God understands what we are feeling and are going through.  

The Bible says, “Jesus was a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3). 

I am confident that in our own ways, at times like this, we all need the same things. We all need comfort, faith, peace and hope. 

The truth is: all of those things are found in Jesus! 

Jesus said, (“God has sent me to bind up the broken hearted and to comfort all who mourn” (Isaiah 61:1). 

He also said, “As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you” (Isaiah 66:13).

The apostle Paul was a man of many sorrows and each time, Jesus saw him through. 

Paul would say gratefully, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles” (2 Corinthians 1:3). 

God understands the grief we feel at the loss of someone we loved. 

God knows what it’s like to lose a loved one. 

He lost His Son undeservedly at the age of 33! 

But, God does more than just understand us. 

He shares and bears our sorrow. 

That is so beautifully illustrated in the story of Lazarus.

Lazarus, Jesus’ friend, had died. 

How many times his sisters had thought during his illness: “If Jesus would only come before death arrives.”

 

As Jesus arrives, He is met by Mary, one of Lazarus’ sisters. 

She says to Jesus, “It’s too late. My brother is dead.” 

Jesus says, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though they die” (John 11:25-26).

So, Jesus is taken to the tomb of His friend. 

As He arrives at the grave, we are told that “Jesus wept.” 

(Seeing everyone’s grief and sorrow, Jesus could not but weep. 

Jesus was so moved by their grief and sorrow. 

Just like He’s moved by our grief and our sorrow today.  

Let me end with this story.

A wise Christian mother explained death best. 

Her son developed a fatal disease which progressed quickly. 

At first, he was unable to go to school. Then, he was unable to go outside to play and finally, he was confined to his bed. 

One day the question his mother feared most came.

“Mommy, what’s it like to die?” 

Though she was prepared herself for that moment, but she could not handle it, when it came. 

She left the room. 

There in the bathroom she prayed for strength and wisdom. 

When she came back into the room she said, “Honey, remember when you were little and you would fall asleep in the car? 

The next morning when you woke up you would be in your own bed. 

Do you know how you got there? 

Your father came and lifted you up and gently carried you to your own bed in your own room. 

That’s what it’s like to die.” 

Yes, your loved one fell asleep and God, our Heavenly Father, lifted them up and gently carried them to heaven.

If Jesus were here today, He would repeat something He said, “Come unto me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). 

Let us “Cast all our anxieties on Jesus, because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7): “"Cast all your care upon Him; for he cares for you."”

 

Armenian election (landslide) mandate is burdensome

 Vaհe H Apelian

An Armenian election landslide is burdensome to the taxpayers, because it will call for more National Assembly seats. It may be the unintended consequence of the Armenian election laws that aim to ensure a stable governing majority and an effective opposition, while taking intro account the parliamentary election results. 

The "Stable Majority" rules that a government can function effectively, if the winning political entity commands 2/3 majority of the National Assembly. That is to say, If one party or alliance wins more than two-thirds of the initial seats, the election laws mandates that the party share its seats down to two-thirds. And if its election is less than 2/3, then the winning party acquires seats to have 2/3 of the National Assembly seats.

The "Effective Opposition" rues conversely. In order to achieve an effective opposition, the opposition commands 1/3 of the National Assembly seats. If it does not, seats will be allocated to the opposition to bring it to 1/3 of the seats of the National Assembly.

Let us consider the outcomes of the December 2018 and the June 2021 snap general elections.

During the December 2018 snap general election, driven by the euphoria of the Velvet Revolution, Nikol Pashinyan’s My Step Alliance won the snap general election by landslide, while the two opposition parties had a total of 15% of the votes. The resultant was a 132 seat National Assembly with 88 seats, or 2/3 or 69% of the seats for Nikol Pashinyan’s alliance; and 44 seats, or 1/3 or 33% of the seats to the opposition that had only 15% of the general election votes.

During the June 2021, election, Nikol Pashinyan led Civil Contract party, won 54% of the votes but ended up with 71 seats of 101 seat National Assembly, or 2/3 or 69% of the seats, when it had only 54% of the general election votes. The Opposition had 26.33% of the votes, but ended up with 36 seats, or 1/3 or 33% of the National Assembly seats.

In both these elections, the government ended up with 2/3 of the seats and the opposition 1/3 of the seats, as stipulated by law.  There is a mathematical logic behind these numbers that take into account the percentage of the votes in the general election to achieve an “effective opposition” and a “stable government”, which will translate into 2/3 of the seats for the government and 1/3 to the seats to the opposition but in different numbers of the National Assembly seats. (see the attached link). 

Nineteen political forces are competing in Armenia’s June 7, 2026 parliamentary elections. To enter parliament, a political entity must clear the following thresholds: Single party threshold is 4 percent. The threshold for an alliance of two or three parties is 8 percent, while for an alliance of four or more parties the threshold is 10 percent. Once voting ends and ballots will counted, and the Armenia’s Electoral Code rules will determine how the votes are converted into seats in the National Assembly, and how many will be the National Assembly seats, but the government to the opposition ratio of 2/3 vs 1/3, will remain.

Whatever the outcome of the June 7, 2026 election, there will be at least 3 political entities, as party or alliance, that will have 1/3 of the National Assembly seats, and the governing entity that will have 2/3 of the seats. But the number of the seats of the National Assembly may change.

The mandate that Nikol Pashinyan speaks about boils to these numbers, 2/3 for the governing entity, and 1/3 for the opposition but, as noted the number of the seats of the National Assembly may be more than the basic 101 seats, plus seats allocated for minorities. In case of June 2021 election, the number of the National Assembly seats was 107. In the December of 2018 election the number of the National Assembly seats was 132, taxing the citizens to support more National Assembly seats, while the keeping the opposition of the government seats at the same ratio, 2/3 to 1/3.

What is the advantage of having an election landslide mandate, that is to say a vote that  overwhelmingly favors one party over the rest? The only advantage I see is reducing the effect of cross over. In a more National Assembly seats, more delegates will need to cross a party line to make a difference. In a smaller National Assembly seats, the cross over by a few may make a much more noticeable difference. In this polarized atmosphere, delegates crossing over is unfathomable. Otherwise, I do not see any advantage for securing an election landslide.

Forget an election landslide.

Just win the election. 

That is all that matters.

                                                    ***

Link: Why the Armenian National Assembly number varies? https://vhapelian.blogspot.com/2018/12/why-armenian-national-assembly-numbers.html

 

The Armenian Church of the Martyrs ` Հայ Մարտիրոսաց Եկեղեցի

 Vaհe H Apelian

Հայ Մարտիրոսաց Եկեղեցի
The Armenian Church of the Martyrs

The Armenian Church of the Martyrs, in Worcester, MA, affiliated with the Armenian Evangelical community, has had a few name changes.

This year, the church of Our Savior / Soorp Prgitch/ Holy Saviour, on Laurel Street in Worcester, which is affiliated with the Diocese of the Armenian Apostolic Church, will celebrate its 135th anniversary on November 21 and 22, 2026.  It was consecrated in 1891, but not at its present location, but a bit further away. It has been at the present location since 1952. The Church of Our Savior is considered to be the oldest Armenian Church on the American Continent.

A few miles from it, The Armenian Church of the Martyrs stands at the same location on 22 Osmond street, Worcester, as it has for the past 125 years. The church-building was erected 1901. It is the oldest Armenian church on the American continent still in use.

Obviously, a church is not the building. The Armenian Church of the Martyrs, holds 1881 as the year it was founded as a body of believers who congregated for worship.  There is a plaque in the church where it is inscribed “1881 – Commenced with prayer meeting at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Hovhannes Yezijian (writer)”. On the same plaque it is also noted that The Armenian Evangelical Union was found in this church in 1902 and The Armenian Missionary Associated of America (AMAA) was found in this church in 1918.

Historically, The American Board of Commissioners for Foreign Missions (ABCFM), composed of Presbyterian and Congregational mission-minded people, played a decisive role in the rise of the Armenian Evangelical Church. ABCFM, commonly referred to as the Board, was founded in 1810, in Boston, Massachusetts. Because of the close association of the Armenian Evangelicals with Congregational missionaries, Rev. Dr. Vahann Tootkian wrote that the Armenians who immigrated to the United States during the last quarter of the nineteenth century and the early part of the twentieth century began to organize Armenian Congregational churches. He stated that “The first Armenian church established on the North American continent was an Armenian Congregational church — the Armenian Congregational Church of the Martyrs in Worcester, Massachusetts — founded in 1881.”

I came across a record that said that claimed that the church “First was constitutionally named “Armenian Evangelical Church,1882-1892”, and “After its affiliation with the Congregation Denomination, it was called Armenian Congregational Church, 1882-1901. And, “After the erection of the present sanctuary, it was named Church of the Martyrs, 1901-present.’

On one of the pews there is a bible gifted to the church that has the following inscription in an impeccable penmanship. It reads, “This church is gifted to Hai Mardirosats Yegeghetsi – Հայ Մարտիրոսաց Եկեղեցի from Mr. and Mres. Hrant Tashjian, in memory of their dear parents Movses and Nazli Tashjian an d Demetrios & Rebecca Balekjian.” The founders of the church were immigrant Armenians and their conversational language was Armenian. It is very likely that they called the church they founded, Hai Mardirosats Yegeghetsi – Հայ Մարտիրոսաց Եկեղեցի։

Church of the Martyrs is an authentic translation of the Hai Mardirosats Yegeghetsi – Հայ Մարտիրոսաց Եկեղեցի, named after the martyrs of what is known in Armenian history as the Hamidian Massacres.

At a point in time, the name evolved into the present as The Armenian Church of the Martyrs.

There is a plaque at the church presented to the Nor Serount – New Generation. The plaque is dated 1975. The plaque may have been presented by the sons and daughters of the founding members to the generation that was to assume the helm of the church. The Armenian Church of the Martyrs seems to be the name that descendents of the founders have come to know the church and is retained to this day.

 

The evolution of the Church’s name

 Vaհe H Apelian

Հայ Մարտիրոսաց Եկեղեցի
The Armenian Church of the Martyrs

For brevity I chose to title this blog as such. The church I have in mind is The Armenian Church of the Martyrs, in Worcester, MA, affiliated with the Armenian Evangelical community. The church has had a few name changes.

This year, the church of Our Savior / Soorp Prgitch/ Holy Saviour, on Laurel Street in Worcester, which is affiliated with the Diocese of the Armenian Apostolic Church, will celebrate its 135th anniversary on November 21 and 22, 2026.  It was consecrated in 1891, but not at its present location, but a bit further away. It has been at the present location since 1952. Church of Our Savior is considered to be the oldest Armenian Church on the American Continent.

A few miles from it, The Armenian Church of the Martyrs stands at the same location on 22 Osmond street, Worcester, for the past 125 years. The church-building was erected 1901. It is the oldest Armenian church on the American continent still in use.

Obviously, a church is not the building. The Armenian Church of the Martyrs, holds 1881 as the year it was founded as a body of believers who congregated for worship.  There is a plaque in the church where it is inscribed “1881 – Commenced with prayer meeting at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Hovhannes Yezijian (writer)”. On the same plaque it is also noted that The Armenian Evangelical Union was found in this church in 1902 and The Armenian Missionary Associated of America (AMAA) was found in this church in 1918.

Historically, The American Board of Commissioners for Foreign Missions (ABCFM), composed of Presbyterian and Congregational mission-minded people, played a decisive role in the rise of the Armenian Evangelical Church. ABCFM, commonly referred to as the Board, was founded in 1810, in Boston, Massachusetts. Because of the close association of the Armenian Evangelicals with Congregational missionaries, Rev. Dr. Vahann Tootkian wrote that the Armenians who immigrated to the United States during the last quarter of the nineteenth century and the early part of the twentieth century began to organize Armenian Congregational churches. He stated that “The first Armenian church established on the North American continent was an Armenian Congregational church — the Armenian Congregational Church of the Martyrs in Worcester, Massachusetts — founded in 1881.”

I came across a record that said that claimed that the church “First was constitutionally named “Armenian Evangelical Church,1882-1892”, and “After its affiliation with the Congregation Denomination, it was called Armenian Congregational Church, 1882-1901. And, “After the erection of the present sanctuary, it was named Church of the Martyrs, 1901-present.’

On one of the pews there is a bible gifted to the church that has the following inscription in an impeccable penmanship. It reads, “This church is gifted to Hai Mardirosats Yegeghetsi – Հայ Մարտիրոսաց Եկեղեցի from Mr. and Mres. Hrant Tashjian, in memory of their dear parents Movses and Nazli Tashjian an d Demetrios & Rebecca Balekjian.” The founders of the church were immigrant Armenians and their conversational language was Armenian. It is very likely that they called the church they founded, Hai Mardirosats Yegeghetsi – Հայ Մարտիրոսաց Եկեղեցի։

Church of the Martyrs is an authentic translation of the Hai Mardirosats Yegeghetsi – Հայ Մարտիրոսաց Եկեղեցի, named after the martyrs of what is known in Armenian history as the Hamidian Massacres.

At a point in time, the name evolved into the present as The Armenian Church of the Martyrs.

There is a plaque at the church presented to the Nor Serount – New Generation. The plaque is dated 1975. The plaque may have been presented by the sons and daughters of the founding members to the generation that was to assume the helm of the church. The Armenian Church of the Martyrs seems to be the name that descendents of the founders have come to know the church and is retained to this day.

 

 

 

 

In case you also did not know - 1 -

 In case you also did not know the proper names of these everyday things and the the following weather-related phrases and their origination,

11 common objects that are never called by their proper names.

While we typically go about life describing the end of our shoelaces as ‘the end of the shoelace’ or the whites of the egg as ‘egg whites’, these things, and many more, have names of their own, even if they are not always widely known or used. Let’s have a look at 11 common things that have proper names, even if no one uses them.

Link: https://www.dictionaryscoop.com/article/11-common-objects-that-are-never-called-by-their-proper-names

*

12 weather-related phrases

We always talk about the weather, but, as it happens, we also use weather-related terms to talk about other things as well. From "under the weather" to "snowed under," many common phrases have surprisingly stormy origins. These sayings are part of our everyday lexicon, often without us even realizing their connection to sun, rain, wind, or snow. Which of these 12 do you use the most?

Link: https://www.dictionaryscoop.com/article/Have-you-ever-seen-a-storm-in-a-teacup-Learn-12-weather-related-phrases

Ղարաբաղեան շարժման ձախողած ղեկաւարութիւնը

Վահէ Յ Աբէլեան 

Ղարաբաղեան շարժման. ձախողած ղեկաւարութիւնը կը ջանայ իշխանութեան վերատիրանալ եւ որուն զարմանալիօրէն կը ձայնակցի սփիւռքի ՀՅԴ-ը։

Անկասկած որ Վարչապետ Նիկոլ Փաշինեանի վերջին յայտարարութիւնները, թէ Ղարաբաղեան շարժումը «ճակատագրական սխալ»  էր, «Արցախը  երբեք  Հայկական  չէ եղած»  եւ Հայաստանը իր ստեղծման օրէն «պատանդ» դարձած էր այդ շարժումին, սուր  բանավէճ մը ստեղծեց   հայ հասարակութեան մէջ։

Դժբախտ իրողութիւնը այն է որ Ղարաբաղեան շարժումը, ճշդեմ որ շարժումը սկսաւ այդ անուանակոչութեամբ եւ ոչ թէ որպէս Արցախեան շարժում, բացառձակապէս ձաղողած շարժումը մըն է։ Կարելի չէ այլապէս որակել։ Եւ այդ ձախողութեան պատճառը, Ղարաբաղեան շարժումին առաջնորդերն են որ տակաւին կը գործեն Հայաստանի քաղաքական կեանքին մէջ տիրանալու իշխանութեանը։ Անհրաժեշտ է որ Հայաստանի քաղաքացիները, այդ օրուայ իշխանութեան ձախողած քաղաքականութեան իրողութեանը յաղորդ մնան։ 1988 ին, ՔՊ կուսակցոթեան անդրմաներէն ոմանք ծնած ալ չէին, իսկ ուսոմնատենչ Վարչապետը 13 տարեկան էր։

Ես համոզուած եմ որ Ղարաբաղեան շարժման, վարչապետ Փաշինյանին ընդիմախօսները սփիւռքէն ոչ թէ չեն ուսոմնասիրած, այլ նոյնիսկ չեն կարդացած Ղարաբաղեան շարժման ղեկաւար եւ ապա նախագահ Լեւոն Տէր Պէտրոսեանին ՊԱՏԵՐԱԶՄ, ԹԵ՞ ԽԱՂԱՂՈՒԹՅՈՒՆ. ԼՐՋԱՆԱԼՈՒ ՊԱՀԸ քաղաքական տեսութիւնը որ հրատարակեց 1 նոյեմբերի, 1997 թ.-ին։ Կը մէջբերեմ այս յատուածը՝

«Թող չփորձեն ժողովրդին մոլորեցնել, ասելով, թե փոխզիջումն այլընտրանք ունի. փոխզիջման այլընտրանքը պատերազմն է։

Փոխզիջման մերժումը եւ մաքսիմալիզմը (առավելագույնը եւ ոչ թե հնարավորը ձեռքբերելու ձգտումը) Ղարաբաղի իսպառ կործանման եւ Հայաստանի վիճակի վատթարացման ամենակարճ ճանապարհն է։ 

Խոսքը չի վերաբերում Ղարաբաղը տալուն կամ չտալուն։ Խոսքը վերաբերում է Ղարաբաղը հայկական պահելուն. 3000 տարի այն բնակեցված է եղել հայերով եւ 3000 տարի հետո էլ պետք է բնակեցված լինի հայերով։»

ԼՏՊ-ի քաղաքական տեսութեան ընդիմացան Ռոպէրթ Քոչարյանը, Սէրժ Սարգսյանը, Վարդան Օսկանեանը եւ ոչ թէ միայն  իշխանութիւն խլեցին իրմէ, այլ վարեցին յաջորդող քսան տարիներուն, մինչեւ  Մայիս 8, 2018 Թավշեայ յեղափոխութիւնը։  իսկ այժմ կը ջանան իշխանութիւնը կրկին ձեռք ձգել, որուն զարմանալիօրէն կը ձայնակցի ՀՅԴ-ը սփիւռքէն։

Կը կցեմ Նախագահ Լեւոն Տէր Պէտրոսեանին ՊԱՏԵՐԱԶՄ, ԹԵ՞ ԽԱՂԱՂՈՒԹՅՈՒՆ. ԼՐՋԱՆԱԼՈՒ ՊԱՀԸ քաղաքաքան տեսութիւնը որ հրատարակեց 1 նոյեմբերի, 1997-ին եւ այդ քաղաքական տեսութեւն իմ Ագնլէրէն թարգմանութիւնս։

Երէկ Մայրերու օր էր։ Մտահան չկրցայ եւ չեմ ալ կրնար մտահան ընել հանգուցեալ Արայիկ Խանդոյանին եւ իր չորս եղբայրներուն մայրը, որուն հինգ զաւակներէն, չորսը մասնակցեցան Ղարաբաղեան ձախողած շարժումին։ Չմասնակցողը, առողջական պատճառնրերով չէր կրնար մասնակցիլ։

Ղարաբաղեան շարժման  պատասխանատուութիւնը բացառձակապէս կը կրեն այդ օրերուն ձաղողած Ղարաբաղի ղեկաւարները եւ որոնք օգտագործելով օրուան հայրենասիրական տրամդրութիւնները Հայաստանի եւ սփիւռքի մէջ, ձեռք ձգեցին վարել Հայաստանի ղեկաւարութիւնը բայց բացառձակապէս չարագործածեցին իրենց վստահուած ղեկաւարութիւնը եւ բառին բացառձակ ճշմարտութեան, կողոպտեցին Հայաստանի քաղաքացիները եւ կամ ժողովուրդը։

Ինչպէս գրած էի, այժմ կը ջանան կրկին ձեռք ձգել Հայաստանի ղեկաւարութիւնը եւ որուն զարմանալիօրէն կը ձայնակցի ՀՅԴ-ը սփիւռքէն, անկասկած Հայաստանի Գերագոյն Մարմինի տրամդրութեան համաձայն եւ ոչ թէ Սփիւռքի զանազան եւ այլազատն պահանջքներուն համար։

Իմ համոզումս է որ հրամայականը, Սովեատական Հայաստանի ժառանգը պահելն է, որմէ հեռու պէտք է մնան, Ղարաբաղեան պատրուակով իշխանութիւն հասած եւ տակաւին ինչաքաղց մնացած երբեմնի Ղարաբաղի ղեկաւարները եւ այդ իրենց այդ մեծ կողոպուտին մասնակից եղածները։ 

Ներքեգը կցած եմ Նախագահ Լեւոն Տէր Պէտրոսեանին ՊԱՏԵՐԱԶՄ, ԹԵ՞ ԽԱՂԱՂՈՒԹՅՈՒՆ. ԼՐՋԱՆԱԼՈՒ ՊԱՀԸ քաղաքաքան տեսութիւնը որ հրատարակեց 1 նոյեմբերի, 1997-ին եւ այդ քաղաքական տեսութեւն իմ Ագնլէրէն թարգմանութիւնս։

Link: A document for history: “War or peace, time to get serious" - "Պատերազմ թէ՞ խաղաղութիւն՝ լրջանալու պահը" : https://vhapelian.blogspot.com/2024/10/a-document-for-history-war-or-peace_20.html

It is the gifting that counts, but.......

 True, it is the gifting that counts and not the gift. But, well, you got to read the rest of the text.

The drawing I posted, reminded me of the following memorable incidents about gifting, I had written about in a differently titled blog. 

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I was in my HS junior or senior year when a guest came from the United States and stayed in the inn my father ran, the famed Hotel Lux. She said she had brought a gift to a friend of mine from his relative in the U.S. 

I told my friend to come and pick the gift and he did. But he, I, and my parents as well were taken back when she presented the gift. It was a dispenser of single razor blades we used for shaving. This was fifty plus years ago and the United States of America was the distant land of milk and honey for us. My friend courteously accepted the gift, inquired about his relative but he left the dispenser behind when he took leave of us, letting us know that I can keep it or give it to someone else.  Surely there  was an element of understandable hurt there for having received shaving blades from his relative from the U.S.A. To ease him out of the situation I did not refuse him. The incident has remained etched in my memory. I refrain from mentioning my friend’s name. Many of my readers know him.

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I remember the following incident about gifting that happened to me in 1995/96, during my visit and only to Lebanon after an absence of almost twenty years. Throughout my stay there I became a guest of my cousin the Hoglinds and with a few other relatives. As a parting gift I bought a set of worry beads, or middle eastern social rosary to my elder relative who hosted me and I presented him the gift after our lunch as a family with his children and their families. He thanked me but not only he did not open the gift but took it to his room and left it there. I had forgotten that in Lebanon we considered a gift a private matter and did not open it in front of the presenter of the gift especially if there was company. I am not sure if that was a universal custom in Lebanon but it was within my social circle in contrast to the expected customary proclamations of appreciation I had come to learn during the past twenty years in the United States where we unwrapped the gift we received and uttered our unabashed appreciation. Ofcourse in doing so we show our appreciation of the gesture more so than to the gift itself.  I saw our elder relative using the worry beads the next day. It was not an ordinary worry bead. No word was uttered, but I knew he had liked it and had already started using it.

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The following story about gifting was told by our frequent Afghan guest to Hotel Lux, Mr. Mohammad Zaman. He told us about the incident with amusement. There was a time when the United States and Afghanistan had warm relations.  President Eisenhower and his Vice President Richard Nixon visited Afghanistan. According to Wikipedia it was in 1953 when Vice President Nixon visited Afghanistan. It so happened that a high placed friend of Mr. Mohammed Zaman was designated as Nixon’s driver. The talk of those who knew driver had been the tangible monetary gift the driver would likely be receiving from the vice-president of the U.S. Nixon at the end of his tour. But at the end of the tour, all that Mr. Nixon had presented to the driver, to the driver’s astonishment, was his personalized White House business card. The gesture had not only caused a huge disappointment but also an embarrassment, if not an insult, to the driver. I doubt that the driver could have made use of that business card then as a tender for a loaf of bread in Afghanistan. Gifts can be no gifts at all.

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As to that single blades-dispenser, I soon realized that it was not the ordinary matchbox size dispenser. It contained far more blades than the ones we purchased from the store. Consequently, I ended up using the blades from the dispenser for months and whenever I discarded the used blade and replaced it with a new one from the dispenser, I remembered the gift and I realized how a beautiful and thoughtful gift it was.

That incident also set a pattern for me. Next to books, on most occasions I gift razor blades. Things have changed, so have the razor blades. The single blade razor is now gone into history. A new generation of cutting-edge technology houses up to five sharp edges on single blade. Such blades are a la mode nowadays and can be expensive.  One cannot go wrong with such a useful gift to the guys. As to gifting the gals, that is my wife’s domain.

But gifting books remain my favorite because books make for far more lasting gifts, provided they are personalized. The gifted books may not be read, but more likely than not, it remains on a book shelf or somewhere in the house and pop out at an unexpected moment rekindling memories and remembrances. Recently my paternal cousin Ara Apelian, M.D., posted a snap shot of a book I have gifted him over thirty years a. I realized what I had suspected all along that books make for a far more lasting gift. 

It sure is the gifting that counts, not the gift. But we cannot discount the thought that goes with the gift as well.